I went to the Fair over the long weekend and took our three-year-old to see the farm animals. We ended up in the sheep exhibit. Now, I've heard about guys having sex with sheep, but I've never been on a farm, so what went across my mind when I was in there was "I wonder how that works," but then I looked down and "Oh."
6 July 1998
I saw a commercial on TV for a local station that said, "News today, tomorrow at 5:30."
7 July 1998
Why do people buy designer-label t-shirts? If the only piece of DKNY clothing you can afford is a $30 t-shirt, maybe you should just not worry about wearing Donna Karan's clothes.
8 July 1998
We were watching the news on a Los Angeles station, and there was a low-speed chase that lasted two hours. To let you know how low the speeds were, TV news crews were keeping up on foot. Normally in a situation like this, the cops have to shoot the tires out. Here, they could have stopped at Home Depot, bought a hammer and some ten-penny nails, and taken them out that way.
9 July 1998
My wife was watching the National Cheerleader Championship on ESPN. It made me feel nostalgic. It reminded me of why I hated high school. Then again, at least the cheerleaders on ESPN have talent. As I remember, the only talent cheerleaders at my high school had was being bitches.
10 July 1998
Word Bites for the week ending 7/3/98
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Nonsense on Stilts and Something New were written and created by Chris Sturhann.
Copyright © 1998 Chris Sturhann